We all have a little voyeur and exhibitionist inside us, if you like to watch steamy sex scenes in movies or you like to dress in a way that shows off or highlights a feature then there’s a part of you that finds this thrilling even at the most basic level. There’s also the extreme end of the spectrum which can be downright dangerous as well as potentially illegal, the people that spy on unwilling participants or subject unconsenting people to their graphic displays. But we are not here to talk about wearing form fitting clothes or watching R-rated movies. We are also not discussing sex in public place or becoming a peeping Tom, which is just creepy. We are discussing a little kinky play between all consenting parties, so anyone who has discovered a desire to watch or be watched, there’s a safe place for that and that comes in the form of lifestyle clubs and private play groups.
With this in mind, I want to know if the idea of watching turns you on? Watching two bodies as they intimately play with each other, absorbed in their own little world. Being close enough to feel the magnetism of their chemistry, close enough to hear the heavy breathing the individual ways other couples communicate and express love, lust, passion. Or maybe you are an exhibitionist, you’re proud of the way your body moves, you love when all eyes are on you, watching you as you perform for the crowd, knowing that you are turning them on.
I have had the privilege of being on both sides of the coin. My first experience with voyeurism was discovering porn hidden in my parents closet, my parents did not throw things away and discarded clothes would often end up in broken black bin liners on their closet floor, I was rummaging through a split bag one time intent on finding an old skirt liner for Victorian day at middle school. I was a small child and found myself inside the closet sitting on something hard as I rummaged through the bags of clothes, curious I started pulling old clothes and bedding aside and found an old box with some videos and nude magazines. I was shocked but I couldn’t look away as I flipped the pages of a very old magazine. I took out a VHS and played it in the video player and the bedroom, it was a recording of some old slapstick comedy, I hit the fast forward button and the comedy show ended and to my shock (and awe) and old German pornographic movie came on afterwards. This was the first time I had seen anything sexual as sex was taboo in my house. It felt wrong to watch but I was also excited by seeing something I shouldn’t have. I put the video back and tried to re-hide it. A few weeks later I went back and found that it had been moved, my parents must’ve realized that one of us had discovered the video and hid it elsewhere.
As an adult, voyeur porn was my favorite genre, hidden camera, spy-cams set up in so called massage parlors where the masseuse would often be ripped and well hung, and the customer would be more than willing to open her legs for a more intimate experience. I had naturally assumed I would love to watch. The first time I saw a couple having sex I didn’t find it a turn on, it was my first time at the Galleria Domain in Chicago, my first real life voyeur experience reminded me of the shock of seeing it for the first time as a child. I felt like I shouldn’t be watching and felt a strong desire to look away or look down, I assumed it was the newness of it being my first time. But the times I visited clubs after that, I found myself somewhat indifferent to watching others play. I remember being at the X-club in Toronto surrounded by couples fucking, threesomes, foursomes and gang bangs and none of it was shocking or stimulating. What I did enjoy was watching others get excited by watching, I love watching their excitement build (literally). Now that I have experienced the club scene a few times I still haven’t developed a desire to watch, with that said, I still enjoy voyeur porn.
When it comes to being watched, I am both an exhibitionist but I can also be very shy. I was always the girl that liked to dress so that her clothes hugged her curves, so yes there’s always been an exhibitionist side to me but I was also taught to keep nudity in the bedroom and it wasn't until I entered the kink scene that I discovered how much I would get off and how powerful I felt when I had the attention of the room.
The first time I went to the X-club I ended up having a swap with another couple, the room was dimly lit and we laid on the bed in the middle of the room, I was being fucked by a stranger as others around me watched, I watched them as they touched themselves, I watched their dicks get hard, I looked into their eyes while this stranger fucked me, it turned me on when the guys looked away and I gave them a little smile when they maintained eye contact, I felt the way they responded to me watching them while they watched me, I felt it gave me great insight to their personalities. The swinging always bought out the dominant side of my personality, I would openly dictate to my partner what I wanted and they were always more than happy to oblige.
On the flip side when I am playing a submissive, I allow the role to encompass not only my body but also my mind, as a submissive I don’t enjoy other eyes on me, I feel vulnerable and self conscious. I am there solely for the purpose of pleasing my Dom, I only have eyes for him and I won’t make eye contact with others, I fall into ‘subspace’, we could be in a crowded room but once I’m in subspace, no one else exists, so if my Dom wants to show me off then I will do it for him and no one else, because of this I prefer to be blindfolded when being a submissive.
Ethan does not consider himself an exhibitionist, in fact, he doesn’t even watch porn, but he enjoys watching me with another partner. I asked him when he realized he had these fantasies and what satisfaction he derived from watching me with another partner. He explained that he initially considered the idea to keep up with my voracious sexual appetite and to provide me with different sexual experiences, but after our first experience he realized he got immense satisfaction from watching me seduce another partner because he knows how much he enjoys being with me. I remember the times he has watched me with other men, knowing what they feel as enter me for the first time, seeing the look on their faces as they fuck me, this would turn him on so much that he wouldn't even realize he was in the middle of fucking someone else. I asked if there was more to it and if there was a power dynamic to it or if he enjoyed being humiliated. He said he definitely did not like to be humiliated, but he enjoyed seeing me empowered by dominating another partner and the sense of power it gave him because he would be the one taking the woman home that others desired and we’re pleasured by.
Another friend of mine realized he loved to show off when he visited a club with a girlfriend, he was fucking her and noticed another girl watching them, she couldn't keep her eyes off him and he felt empowered. He said it was an out of body sexual experience, and has enjoyed visiting clubs on a regular basis since.
So where do you fall, what do you like?
I want to know the details on how you discovered this kink, find me on twitter at elle_roc84.