Top 5 Tips on How to Date a Younger Woman
I often consider how lucky I am to be in a relationship with a beautiful woman who is over a decade younger than I am, and I recently reflected on this and wondered how many men wanted to be in such a relationship, but didn’t pursue it for one or other reason.
According to Zoosk, 59% of men like women who are younger than them and 22% of those men like women over 10 years younger than them, which is roughly 1 in every 7 men. But what about women who like older guys? Interestingly enough, 56% of women like men who are older than them and 13% of those liked men who were 10 years older than them, which is roughly 1 in 11 women. That’s a sizable pool of potential young ladies, gents, and two thirds of you could get lucky! Despite these odds, perhaps you’ve not had success in connecting with a younger woman, so this post is for you.
Tip #1: Be sure that you have the right attitude and are prepared for the relationship
I personally never gave the idea of dating a younger woman much thought - for me it just happened. Some men like the idea of having a young, hot trophy girlfriend by their side that they can bang on a regular occasion, and if this is your thing, then there are many sugar babies that will happily separate you from your money. It is also a common pitfall for older men to focus too much on the youth and beauty of their younger girlfriend. But, I suspect many young ladies on the dating scene will not want to be objectified nor will they want your money.
You may be thinking that dating a younger woman means having hot sex, or being with someone with vitality, or something else, but it’s not without its challenges. Younger women grew up in different times and have a different point of view, they likely have more energy than you, you’ll likely face a lot of judgment from friends, family and strangers, they may be at a different stage in life (e.g. they might want children and you don’t), you may be more established in your career and financially secure, etc. All of these issues are sources of potential conflict and you may ask yourself at some point if it’s all worthwhile.
Tip #2: When establishing contact, don’t be a dick and manage your expectations
Unfortunately, in today’s dating world where another woman is just one swipe away on Tinder, it is all to common for men to behave like pigs and make lewd comments to their hapless matches. Keep the conversation clean and don’t be a dirty old pervert and don’t be the stereotype that judgmental people will make you out to be. And for fucks sake, don’t send dick pics or ask her for intimate photos - keep it classy gents!
Manage your expectations - just because you connected and she traded a few messages with you, it doesn’t mean she needs to give you her phone number or go on a date with you. You may have invested some of your time and energy into the conversation, but if she didn’t click with you, then move on. If your conversation went well, don’t leave her hanging, be sure to send her a message in the morning and wish her an awesome day. The night I met Elle and we chatted for over 4 hours. She was interesting, funny and smart and she seemed genuinely interested in me.Despite our initial connection, I didn’t expect it to last beyond the night, but the following day we messaged again and so began our journey.
Tip #3: Know how to have a great conversation, you will need it
It can be challenging to talk to a woman who grew up in a different time, you may feel like you have nothing in common and even run out of things to talk about. You be tempted to avoid an awkward silence by talking about yourself, but don’t, because it’ll come across as being self-absorbed and even arrogant. Almost every woman I have met (regardless of their age) find it a turn off when a man talks about how much they earn, or show off their flashy car, or boasts about their achievements. Men who do this come across as insecure because they have to compensate for their inadequacies. It’s good to be proud of your accomplishments, but tone it down. It’s even better to captivate a woman’s attention by who you are as a person and let her discover your successes by herself in later conversations.
So, if you shouldn't talk about yourself, what should you talk about? In the course of your life you’ve probably experienced a thing or two that she could find interesting. If not, you should probably get out there and do something interesting - take a trip to an obscure destination, try exotic foods, read books and learn interesting facts. Develop a good recall of all of this and practice storytelling to relay your knowledge and experience at the appropriate time in an eloquent, interesting way.
They say God gave you two ears and one mouth, so you should listen more and speak less. Asking questions to get someone to open up is a skill I’ve learnt in my career that I apply to life in general. I’ve been in a number of conversations where I would be told I’m so easy to speak to and I didn’t have to offer up much personal information, which is great because it gives me something to draw upon when there’s a lull in conversation (remember, don’t boast). Chances are that one of the things that attracts you about younger women is their passion for life and they are often still forming their opinions. Ask questions, and let her share her perspective and you’ll learn a whole lot about her, answer her questions thoughtfully and offer up information from time to time. Remember what she told you and drop a remark in future conversations and she’ll know you were listening and you will have found the key to her heart.
Tip #4: Be confident in yourself and don’t be a pussy
When you're dating a younger woman, every now and then you might lose some confidence because you're unable to keep up, or because you see another wrinkle or grey hair. But, attraction is a complex thing and she’s attracted to you for reasons other than the way you look. Don’t try and act younger or behave differently, if you are not yourself and you change how you behave in front of her, she will ultimately discover your ruse and this will just take a turn for the worse.
Psychologically, you will likely bring things to the relationship that she might not have experienced with a younger partner before. You will likely be more experienced and cultured, be more financially stable, be better at pleasing her, provide more security and stability, have more sophisticated tastes, and be better at providing emotional support.
Physically, younger women who date older men like their men to look groomed and well-established with major points if you are in shape. So, don’t be a schlub, work on reducing that beer gut and update your wardrobe with age appropriate clothing. There are very few older guys than can be hip and cool, so don’t be THAT guy that looks like a dad and acts like a teenager - there’s nothing attractive about that and you’ll just embarrass your woman.
Finally, don’t be a pussy. The worst position you can be in is one where you are constantly succumbing to her every whim and trying to pacify her because she will lose respect for you. Lack of confidence and not being a strong man is not sexy, period. Of course, you could be a dirty old bugger who likes to be mistreated by a domme, in which case, the world to you, but for the rest of us, disrespect will spell the death of the relationship.
Tip #5: Live in the moment and communicate openly and constantly
According to the 2013 US Census, 7.4% of the married heterosexual couples have the man older by 10 years, so roughly half the couples will get married. That’s the good news because according to a study of 3,000 people from Emory University in Atlanta, couples with a 10 year difference have a 39% greater chance of getting divorced.
These relationships will be challenging. You may run out of things to talk about, you may never find common ground, your libido may start declining, you may struggle to keep up, and you will eventually just start getting old. Where you were once seen as stable, wise and mature, you may later be seen as controlling, condescending, and boring.
These relationships will take a lot of work so I recommend living in the moment and communicating openly and constantly.
But, what if you’ve followed this advice and have still not been able to find someone younger? Perhaps you should consider opening up your dating pool to women that are 5 or more years younger than you because that would triple your chances of finding love and your divorce rate will drop significantly the closer your age is to your wife’s. There are many attractive, vivacious women in the dating pool who are closer to your age.
But, if you decide to take the leap with a younger woman, you could be rewarded with a partner who keeps you active, keeps your mind sharp, and will make you to live life to the fullest.