I am generally someone that is reluctant to develop an ongoing relationships with swingers and have always preferred being a bit more of a swinging tourist, playing whenever Ethan and I went out of town -- it always made trips more interesting and gave us a little shared secret when friends and family asked us what we did on our weekend away. Since we only travel occasionally, Ethan and I had always wanted to check out local groups in between our trips.
A few weeks ago a friend of mine talked about AWM in our munch group, which I have never heard of before. For anyone who doesn’t know what a munch is, it is a social group, either online or in person where people who are interested in or actively involved with BDSM come together, most cities have local groups that meet up monthly at a local restaurant or coffee shop, for obvious reasons, these meetings are not play meetings.
Deciding that it was time to branch out a little more and maybe find a place that wasn't going to cost an arm and a leg in airfare. With coronavirus rampant, being in a trapped vessel that continuously recycled its air flow also wasn't so appealing either….however, one could argue that spending the evening at a lifestyle event would be just as risky if not more. Anyways, I opened up Fetlife on my laptop and did a little search, I found out that AWM was a private party held monthly and organized by a lady at her private residence. The issue that I have found out with many private events is that it is so incredibly hard to find information on these events, location is always kept private until a ticket is purchased and all members are screened on various levels depending on the exclusivity of the club. For AWM we emailed the host and was sent a questionnaire, the questionnaire wanted us to divulge real names as well as a picture. The picture request made me hesitant as I wasn't completely sure why it was requested and I hated the idea of being denied based on my looks. We knew that joining a private group meant we would have to be okay with at least a low level of openness and vulnerability so we completed the application and waited to see if we would be accepted, Ethan received the acceptance email first, we later learned it was an email accepting both of us. He was provided a link to purchase tickets. The cost of tickets were reasonable.
$20 Single Women
$60 Single Men
The ticket price included the playspace with necessary toiletries, cleaning supplies and condoms. It also included a dinner, snacks, desserts and non-alcoholic beverages. It was a BYOB with the suggestion that you didn’t excessively drink.
So we purchased our tickets the morning of the event and went about our day, when the evening rolled we started to get dressed, I was very used to the club scene but knew I had to take it down a level since it was a house party. I decided on a red silky slip with a lace bra and trim, Ethan decided on his standard black attire. Little did I know that I was slightly overdressed for the evening, I did overdo it a little but more on that later.
We arrived at the location around 9pm, the house was on a residential street in the Chicago suburbs, I was surprised at how close the neighbors were and shocked to see so many cars infiltrating the neighborhoods street parking. Personally I wondered how many neighbors had issues with these monthly get togethers.
We were met at the door by security before checking in. I.D’s were required for check in and everyone was given a lanyard with a color-coded name tag that represented a different play status. Unfortunately, I cannot recall the colors that corresponded with the statuses besides my own but they represented “boys only” “girls only” “boys and girls” and “not playing”. I had already discussed with Ethan earlier that I didn’t intend to play with others, with it being a local club I wanted to socialize and spectate, there was always time to play in the future. So I selected the red colored card that represented “not playing” and it was charmingly adorned with a cherry sticker to show that it was my first time at the club.
We were offered a tour of the property, starting with the upper level. This level was the only area we were allowed to play, there were four bedrooms and two bathrooms, all the rooms had low lighting and one or two beds. The upper landing was brightly lit, cleaning supplies were located all around. There was security placed on each floor to ensure that everyone was behaving.
Next we walked down to the main level, this composed of the entry area, a locker room, kitchen/eating area and living room as well as a half bath. I was very impressed with the amount of food and snacks laid out for the members, you could tell that a lot of effort was put into creating a homely atmosphere. The basement level of the home was an open area with a large dining table and multiple couches, there was a bathroom in the corner and a closed section for staff only. As the tour ended in the basement that is where we decided to start the evening.
We sat at the table with our friends that told us about the club and during the course of the evening met various other couples that came to greet us and have a little conversation. As there was no dress code, everyone wore what they wanted, with the majority opting for more a suggestive albeit comfortable dress that made me feel a little too overexposed, but lifestyle clubs are not a place to feel ashamed so I simply embraced it. Of all the places I have visited I have to point out that AWM had the most welcoming and accepting atmosphere, seeing everyone embrace their sexuality regardless of gender, orientation, identity, race or size - it was a welcome breath of fresh air. A few times during the evening we ventured upstairs, we looked in to a couple of rooms where couples were engaged in various activities, group play, kink, and a few gangbangs.
We had to leave the party a little earlier than intended but I felt I was able to capture the vibe of the club and the goals of the host. AWM club is a very sex positive community that welcomed everyone regardless of how they looked and what they liked, they put a strong emphasis on consent and I was told personally by a security guard that if anyone hassled me to simply inform him and he would take care of it. There was a strict “no means no” policy and while I did encounter a couple of men who felt they could persuade me otherwise, they weren’t pushy and backed off when I made it clear that I was not there to play.
The negatives to the club would be the location in a residential neighborhood where houses were only a few feet apart and the risk that a disgruntled neighbor could take the license plate information from party goers and find personal information of attendees. We also didn’t like that there were two or three times more men than women, which meant that there were a lot of men lingering about standing close enough for me to notice but too far to have a conversation. I wasn’t sure if they were waiting to see if I started playing so they could slip in and join or if they were socially awkward and didn't know how to approach me. Because of this I felt that this club isn’t for me; Ethan also didn’t appreciate having to feel like my protector for the evening, as I would be approached every time he stepped away from me.
While searching other private parties, I was warned that some had an expectation that you were there to play and if you didn't, they would make it obvious that you wouldn't be welcomed back. AWM did not have this atmosphere. It was a place where people gathered and enjoyed each other’s company whether it be just talking with other like minded people or having a train run on you. Even with the creepy guys that followed me around I didn't once feel pressured into playing.
In conclusion, while I loved the welcoming atmosphere of this club, I didn't connect on a sexual level with the other members, the search for my perfect club continues.